


the coochie killers catch a case

by ItsBrayBabey



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bisexual Kara (Detroit: Become Human), Bisexual Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Bisexual North (Detroit: Become Human), Bisexual Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Chatting & Messaging, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is a Little Shit, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Disaster Josh, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Gay Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Group chat, M/M, Most Likely Not, Texting, Twink Connor (Detroit: Become Human), a gay disaster, and ao3 kept going down in the middle of it, and by everyone i mean markus and north, and do you know how hard it is to code in emojis??? i was using templates and i was STILL SUFFERING, any good s/o will bully their bf, chatfic, coding is hard. i have no time for this, coding sucks, connor is the one who sends cursed images 24/7 and makes everyone cry at weird times, he bullies josh but its ok. everyone gets to bully josh, hey you know how fanon connor is always sweet and polite and innocent, i dont specify whether connor is a twinky terminator or someone who terminates twinks, i force in musical references at some point and yall just gotta deal with that, im sorry the tag needed to be there, ios format, its SHITPOST TIME, its just how it has to be, its not wartime anymore so i can excuse everything, josh was poorly developed which means i can do whatever the hell i want with him, kara may seem like the chill one but she uses this to her advantage, markus is a sweetheart, markus is the mc here, might be a series??, north is a bi icon and we stan her, north is the one who sends cursed images in the chat at 3 AM, she takes the right time to strike, simon watches hentai and everyone loves to bully him, so i kept losing the tags, this is mega confusing to read without creator's style turned on, this was hell to code, took me hours, yeah well this interp took fanon connor and flushed him down the drain just to laugh, you never get to see it but you can TELL, youll have to figure that out yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 13:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsBrayBabey/pseuds/ItsBrayBabey
Summary: After a long day of working towards true android-human solidarity, Markus loves to use his internal messaging to have pleasant conversations with his friends.Considering who they are, however, pleasant can almost never be associated with their conversation.





	the coochie killers catch a case

**Author's Note:**

> All the names are pretty straightforward except for Connor's. You can probably guess, but he's twink terminator.  
> You might wanna leave creator's style on lsdjfklasjdfk its kinda confusing to read without it

coochie snatchers  
  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
*i orange justice softly*  
hello, pussies, whats poppin  
i mean, if we're pussies  
prolly us??  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
who knew markus was so woke,,  
certainly not me,,  
twink terminator  
Didnt markus think think hentai was a person like, last week,,,  
Wym "woke"??  
beautiful concept: connor learning to shut the fuck up  
pissdrinker josh  
too unrealistic, 0/10, do better  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
the thought still brings a tear to my eye..  
oh, what joy it would bring..  
twink terminator  
Why are yall constantly coming for my brand,,, i swear to ra9,,,  
Look yall  
Im Sorry  
I didnt CHOOSE to be the cutest here, it just HAPPENED  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
haha  
hilarious you think you're the cutest here  
kween kara  
As the lurker of this chat, I can confirm that Connor gets less cute every time he sends mario bros mpreg in the chat.  
twink terminator  
Furryphobic.  
shut up!!  
pissdrinker josh  
u-uwu it's-a me, mama luigi!!  
kween kara  
Josh is now among the ugliest of us. Ra9 rest his soul.  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
f  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
f  
bitch we been knew  
pissdrinker josh  
alright hoe, i see how it is then  
when you wake up w/ my toes in your mouth, you'll know whats good (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )  
bet  
pissdrinker josh  
brb yall, boutta beat markus' ass  
twink terminator  
What happened to pacifism?  
pissdrinker josh  
fuck pacifism, markus is a BITCH  
twink terminator  
Wow, phat mood  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
yall rlly out here tryna beat up my boyf huh  
and you aint asking if i wanna join??? disgusting.  
my girlf really out here betrayin me,,, ok,,,  
twink terminator  
People actually trust the people theyre datin?? Um??  
My bf sends me surreal memes at 3 AM and hopes I wake up Hank lmao yall wildin   
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
your bf winks with both eyes and fortnite dances at work, he's an exception  
i wouldn't trust him with a fucking fish  
pissdrinker josh  
wait what  
WAIT WHAT   
????  
pissdrinker josh  
you fucking biTCH CONNOR  
twink terminator  
Holy shit i forgot,,,,  
S-sowwy peepee man :(((  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
??? what's happening ???  
pissdrinker josh  
everyone in this chat is in a relationship, what the FUCK  
simon, markus, and north are dating each other  
kara's with luther  
connor's with,,, whoever the fuck he's dating  
and im married to the real housewives of atlanta, what the HELL guys  
twink terminator  
And thats valid!!!  
pissdrinker josh  
shut the fuck up connor, ur ugly  
twink terminator  
Damn bitch ok  
Catch me making out with my HOT DETECTIVE BOYFRIEND out of SPITE uwuwuwu  
kween kara  
We stan one man!!  
pissdrinker josh  
u all disgust me  
im gonna be a crazy cat lady out of spite, fuckin watch  
my cats are gonna fucking vore each and every one of you  
is no one gonna talk abt how connor just called gavin fucking reed his "hot detective boyfriend" because i Resent That  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
gavin reed is just anime styled connor  
twink terminator  
Oh i hate that  
petition for north to never open her mouth again!!  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
signed!!  
pissdrinker josh  
signed  
twink terminator  
Signed.  
kween kara  
Signed  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
kara,,, no,,, i trusted you,,  
and @ simon, good luck getting head if i cant open my mouth  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
i  
i dont have a dick?  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
too fucking bad  
twink terminator  
Lmao thats straight  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
ill knock ur fuckin teeth straight  
twink terminator  
bet, hetero  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
thats IT  
im fucking DONE WITH HIM  
you should have shOT HIM, MArkus  
everybody makes mistakes!  
twink terminator  
H E Y  
everybody has those days!!!  
kween kara  
I never wanna hear anything about Hannah Montana ever again alfdjskladfs   
twink terminator  
I know every Hannah Montana song ever produced,,,, you Dare disrespect my goddess??  
kween kara  
Alice is going through a Hannah Montana phase and it's hitting hard.   
Help Me   
Thats?? Adorable??  
kween kara  
Until you're the one she forces to do the Hoedown Throwdown  
For the 10th time that evENIng  
pissdrinker josh  
the hoedown throwdown is a BOP ill dance till im fuckin dead  
twink terminator  
we've found ourselves true royalty  
pissdrinker josh  
i been knew thanks xoxo  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
i'd agree, but like,,,, there can only be one, so,,  
If there could only be one royal, i wouldn't be here at the same time as you and north uwuwu (Two Hearts )(Two Hearts )(Two Hearts )  
twink terminator  
Who the fuck asked  
Go be gross somewhere elSE g OD  
pissdrinker josh  
"Catch me making out with my HOT DETECTIVE BOYFRIEND out of SPITE uwuwuwu" hm.  
twink terminator  
Shut uP, josh, go watch the real housewives or some shit  
pissdrinker josh  
smh karma's comin for your ugly ass  
when nene leakes drives down to detroit to beat your ass, don't say i didnt warn u  
twink terminator  
I have no clue who the hell that is and i'm certainly not looking up anything from the real housewives  
But she can catch these hands.  
pissdrinker josh  
get stomped, hoe  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
josh, no one wants to hear abt ur weird catfight shows  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
im pretty fuckin sure you read yaoi hentai manga  
you can't say sHIT  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
yaoi hentai is better so,,  
have you seen their fucking HANDS i want them to CHOKE ME  
this is blatant android revolutionary leader hand erasure  
twink terminator  
Stop! hinting! at choking each other! in the main chat!  
androids are free now and gOD DAm nit we're gonna use this freedom  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
sing it sweetie!!!  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
thank you so much, babe,,, its because of you that i can send loli hentai in this chat,,,   
ok thats where the line is drawn  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
>:(( im gonna revolt against this revolution then  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
ill see you on the other side of the war (Pensive Face ) (Pensive Face ) (Pensive Face )  
(Kiss Mark )kanye north(Kiss Mark )  
i'll see you on the other side of the war (Pensive Face ) (Pensive Face ) (Pensive Face )  
i refuse to believe that was a musical reference. i refuse to believe i taught you that this was alright.  
twink terminator  
Shut up heather uwu  
i'm telling your boyfriend.  
twink terminator  
do it pussy. bet you wont.  
gavin cried over dear evan hansen. you're powerless  
oh my god,,  
maybe the revolution was a mistake  
pissdrinker josh  
it's too late to turn back now :)   
please say you're not tainted,,, please say that wasn't a reference to any musical,,  
pissdrinker josh  
:)   
i'm divorcing all of you and taking the children  
kara's the only good one here  
kween kara  
:) That's so fetch  
the moVIE CAME BEFOre the mUsical, it doesn't COUNT  
pissdrinker josh  
the intention was There, yes it does   
suck it ;)))   
ok  
im never looking at this chat again.  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
b e t  
your yaoi boys will neVER CHOKE YOu  
g O OD NIght  
(Beating Heart )simon vs the humans agenda(Beating Heart )  
take it back,,,  
TAKE IT BAKC U BITCH  
Read 6:32 PM  


**Author's Note:**

> i hate coding!! why do i keep doing this to myself!!


End file.
